Dear Old Friends

Just having a trendy micro-brew in Longmont, Colorado. No big deal.

As I've mentioned in previous posts, I require a lot of adult time to keep myself happy and healthy. I follow the "secure your oxygen mask first and then assist your child" philosophy of parenting. They really do have a point with that.

I recently spent a great weekend with some dear old Peace Corps friends in Colorado. I've already written about my two closest friends from Peace Corps, so these folks need no introduction! My friend Erin was visiting from Kenya with her brand-new baby and so of course Jenna and I had to go visit during her limited engagement here in the U.S.A. 

I really love being with these two people. It just so happens that I loved my Peace Corps experience, but even if I hadn't loved it (which some people don't), it would still have been worth it just to get to know these wonderful, slightly crazy, individuals.

Granddaddy Hal's Influence

My dad imparting his fishing expertise to Zadie.

The fishing gang. Tori stayed home with Charlie while he napped.

I like how my dad takes his role as one of my kids' male role models very seriously. Last fall when they were babysitting our three kids for our anniversary, my dad wanted to play catch with Skip and was very disturbed that Skip is terrible at catching a ball. He asked my mom whether that was normal and apparently even Googled it. Something about my dad being driven to Google "normal age for boy to catch ball" just makes me die laughing. It's very sweet that he's so concerned about the matter. (Just for the record, Skip is really athletic but is so boisterous that he hasn't shown much interest in the focus required to actually catch a ball. But I'm determined that my kids will be well-prepared in the sports department and won't suffer from not having a dad to play catch with -- Tori and I both love sports!).

It was with these manly mentor intentions in mind that my dad really wanted to take our kids fishing at a little trout pond near our house that I had told him about. My dad was really intent on doing this fishing thing right and making sure my kids could catch a fish. Everyone around us was catching fish and for some reason we weren't having any luck, but my parents (especially my dad) were determined to catch one for the kids. You can see how serious my dad looks in the photo above.

My mom actually caught the first fish (she grew up in Alaska catching boatloads of fish!) and then finally my dad caught one. Everyone caught one except my poor nephew, who was quite frustrated. Skip and Zadie couldn't hook the fish, but they could bring them in once they were already on the line, which was triumph enough for them.

So mission accomplished. Those were some seriously expensive trout, but my dad got to give the kids a fishing lesson and I think the adults enjoyed it even more than the kids!

Birthdays After You've Had Children

This was the fancy Malibu dinner I refer towards the end of this very long post about birthdays.

I think it's typical for birthdays to generate more excitement when you're a kid than when you're an adult, but I've found it to be exactly the opposite. Since I was kind of socially awkward around other kids my age (my best friend was 55 years old), I felt really uncomfortable about birthdays.

My parents were probably relieved that my sister and I weren't big on parties and certainly didn't push the issue. Mostly I just had a special dinner with my family (ribs or fried chicken on the special red plate!) and oatmeal cookies for dessert.

I'd also ask to go horseback riding, so my dad would take me to a stable right on the Mexican border where you rode along the fence and could look right over at Tijuana. Looking back on it, it amazes me that  people actually paid for that experience, and I'm not sure I recall seeing any other customers. (I had to put the dig in about going horseback riding for one hour per year just to annoy my parents since they resisted all my pleadings to buy me a horse and I would probably have become a famous horse whisperer.)

I didn't really know how to execute a great birthday when I was younger. As I got older, I became judgmental of people who put too much energy in having a great birthday (and were crushed if it didn't turn out perfectly). But then I had children and now I cherish every single birthday and stretch it out for as long as possible (someday I'll have to do a post about all the things I was judgmental about before I having kids humbled me and brought me to my knees).

This year was no different. I had a very special birthday dinner with my parents and nephew in Malibu (seriously, Malibu?), a great day with 12 other friends squeezed around a circular table at a Sichuan restaurant, and a day off from work that I spent shopping with my mom.

Before kids, birthdays weren't important to me because my whole life was all about me anyway, so what was the difference? I did whatever I wanted whenever I wanted, approximately 365 days a year. I'm not saying people without kids are self-absorbed -- just that I was! I had so few responsibilities and was as free as a little bird (lots of people without kids have responsibilities I didn't have, like debt, family obligations, etc).

Now that I feel the weight of so many responsibilities -- like how I can't just quit my job and travel the world for six months like Tori and I once did -- a birthday is really special because it's an opportunity to be selfish, down to the very smallest detail like not doing the dishes and only doing the fun stuff with the kids and none of the yucky stuff (reading books instead of wiping kids' bottoms!).

I don't mean to imply that I'm a selfless martyr who spends my days scrubbing toilets and cooking meals for my three kids, but there's no getting away from the fact that I'm jointly responsible for the lives of three small human beings.

So I've definitely come around on the birthday issue. I say hooray for grown folks milking those birthdays for all their worth.

Just 355 days till the next one...

Tori Loves this Photo

A special guest post -- the first ever -- from Tori!

This picture shows a bit of our kids' personalities, which is why I love it. Zadie tries her hand at her own style (here represented by two different shoes) and Skip thinks he's a cowboy (check out those boots and leather chaps!). And Charlie's just Charlie. Pre-photo they were doing tricks off of these stacked chairs

Thanks for the photo, Tina, and we're so happy you and Raffi are back!