First Parent-Teacher Conference

Here's Zadie's easel in the backyard. This particular painting doesn't exactly
capture her creativity, but I like the expression on her face.

Yesterday Tori and I went to our very first parent-teacher conference. Zadie started kindergarten this year at a Waldorf-inspired charter school where they emphasize play and social and emotional development. We pretty much picked it because there's no homework until second grade. Yes!

Anyways, we weren't very surprised when the teacher told us how much Zadie loves the arts and crafts and also all the building projects. She loves projects and her attention to detail is pretty amazing. The teacher showed us a sewing project Zadie worked on and pointed out how wonderful her stitching is. We were honest and said we didn't know what was so special about that, so then the teacher showed us the other kids' sewing work and I have to admit I felt a little proud!

I was a little surprised when she shared that Zadie tends to hang back during recess and has generally preferred to play independently rather than with a big group of kids. I think this worries Tori a little bit, but not me because I love that Zadie is so independent and I'm sure she's way more social than I was at that age.

One suggestion the teacher made was that we might want to consider shielding Zadie a bit more from serious topics. She said that she really enjoys her conversations with Zadie, but that Zadie often discusses really heavy topics like blood and death and religion. We explained that it's likely because Zadie often asks me about the photos she sees in the newspaper. It's kind of hard to figure out sometimes how much to share, but I do try to be careful not to share too much (for example, the Sandy Hook shootings was a news story I didn't want her to know about at all, and she didn't). And ever since her Aunt Opal passed away suddenly last spring, she's been very fascinated by death and what happens after death.

I'm not really worried about Zadie's desire to talk about deep topics because I was very similar at a young age and I appreciate her interest in these topics. The teacher agreed with us that Zadie never talks about these subjects in a way that shows any kind of anxiety or sadness. It's really just curiosity and a desire to understand. She really enjoys those topics, so I don't plan on shutting down those conversations.

It was very interesting to hear the teacher's perspective on our mature little five-year-old. I laughed when the teacher described her as an "old soul" because people always said that to me when I was a child. Now I'm old in both soul and body.

Granddaddy Hal's Influence

My dad imparting his fishing expertise to Zadie.

The fishing gang. Tori stayed home with Charlie while he napped.

I like how my dad takes his role as one of my kids' male role models very seriously. Last fall when they were babysitting our three kids for our anniversary, my dad wanted to play catch with Skip and was very disturbed that Skip is terrible at catching a ball. He asked my mom whether that was normal and apparently even Googled it. Something about my dad being driven to Google "normal age for boy to catch ball" just makes me die laughing. It's very sweet that he's so concerned about the matter. (Just for the record, Skip is really athletic but is so boisterous that he hasn't shown much interest in the focus required to actually catch a ball. But I'm determined that my kids will be well-prepared in the sports department and won't suffer from not having a dad to play catch with -- Tori and I both love sports!).

It was with these manly mentor intentions in mind that my dad really wanted to take our kids fishing at a little trout pond near our house that I had told him about. My dad was really intent on doing this fishing thing right and making sure my kids could catch a fish. Everyone around us was catching fish and for some reason we weren't having any luck, but my parents (especially my dad) were determined to catch one for the kids. You can see how serious my dad looks in the photo above.

My mom actually caught the first fish (she grew up in Alaska catching boatloads of fish!) and then finally my dad caught one. Everyone caught one except my poor nephew, who was quite frustrated. Skip and Zadie couldn't hook the fish, but they could bring them in once they were already on the line, which was triumph enough for them.

So mission accomplished. Those were some seriously expensive trout, but my dad got to give the kids a fishing lesson and I think the adults enjoyed it even more than the kids!

Turning the Tables: Piercings

A few nights ago Tori called me from Portland to tell me that she had just gotten her nose pierced.  She had been talking about it for a while, so I wasn't too surprised about that.  Then she asked whether Zadie could get her nose pierced, too.  I said of course not.  Tori pointed out that it's totally normally in East Indian culture for little girls to have their noses pierced and I said that's terrific, but she's clearly not East Indian.

I could hear Zadie in the background pushing the issue and I told Tori to tell her that in America, it's not normal for little girls to get their noses pierced.  Zadie then said that she didn't want to be normal and that she wanted to be really unique.

The irony is not lost upon me that I am now trying to force my daughter to be "normal" when few kids fought harder against that definition than I did.  My mom eventually gave up her battles with me (I outlasted her), but I definitely remember the arguments over the dresses and skirts she wanted me to wear and the cutesie hairstyles she attempted.  I also remember her brushing my hair every night before I went to bed and putting those squishy pink curlers in my hair that I had to sleep with.  As a mother, I now look back and think, wow, that was a serious act of love that she spent all that time doing that, but at the time I seriously hated every minute of it.  I credit my mom for letting go of those battles with me at a relatively young age.  For the most part, I think I was free to be poorly dressed with ratty sneakers and a bowl cut from about kindergarten on.  After that point, she was pretty selective in the battles she chose.

So my own personal history can sometimes make me think twice about trying to force Zadie to conform.  In this case, the compromise was that she got to have her ears pierced (see photo below).  She didn't cry one bit and she's really happy with her newly pierced ears.

I don't know how old I was when my mom had my ears pierced, but young enough that I don't remember it. As soon as I began exercising more freedom with my appearance, I promptly took those earrings out and let the holes close (I got them pierced again when I was in my early twenties).  It will be interesting to see how this evolves with Zadie.

The Ranch Files: Charlie Starts to Walk

As I've previously written, I'm really excited for Charlie to learn to walk, and I have very high expectations for how our life is going to improve once that happens.  Well, it hasn't fully happened yet, but he definitely did more walking at the ranch than he's ever done before.  Maybe the fresh air inspired him to be more mobile.

This is a video of him taking a few steps.  I love the sound of my Aunt Dana's Texan accent in the background saying, "Ride 'em, cowboy!"


Charlie Walks! from Kate K. on Vimeo.

Charlie Loses His Curls

Charlie has very, um, distinctive hair.  It's red and curly.  Not tight curls but long curly locks.  We were kind of attached to his curls, so we didn't get him a haircut for a long time.  Recently he started to resemble Bozo the Clown with the curls sticking out on the sides, so Tori took him to get a haircut.

I'm wondering if Tori asked the lady to cut his hair just like hers.  The similarity is remarkable -- they both have pixy cuts!

Charlie's First Words

As odd as it is, I would have to say that Charlie's first word was "uh-oh."  I wish that it was "mama," but although he can definitely and occasionally does say "mama," he doesn't really say it with the proper context.  On the other hand, he totally understands the uh-oh concept and says it at the perfect moment.

The other word that he has just started saying is "bye-bye."  Once I thought he said it when Zadie was making him wave goodbye, but maybe that was a coincidence.

He really is hitting all kinds of developmental milestones lately -- my favorite is that he now uses the proper sign for "more" instead of just screaming like a wild man.  That is a huge relief and hopefully he'll learn some other signs, too.

I'm eagerly waiting for him to start walking because I think that will be really fun (hopefully I don't eat my words).  But he's rather on the heavy side, so it will be nice when he doesn't need to be held all the time.  And I also know that he'll have more fun keeping up with his siblings once he can walk.

I seem to always be creating these light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel scenarios, so my current version of that is that our lives will be soooo much easier once Charlie can walk.  Fingers crossed!

Zadie's First Day at Pre-School

I wish I had a photo of Zadie's first day at pre-school today, but our camera is broken. We signed her up for Tuesdays and Thursdays and she's been really excited about the start of school, partly because we got her a new Hello Kitty lunch box that she wasn't allowed to use until today. Sidney bought her a Hello Kitty bento box and water bottle, so she was all set.

I wish I could tell you something about how the day went, but it was like pulling teeth trying to get information out of her. Kind of like talking to a teenager in terms of one-word answers. All I can really say is that she was really excited when we dropped her off and she didn't cry or seem at all distressed when we said goodbye to her this morning.

Now Skip goes to daycare M-W-F and Zadie goes to pre-school Tu-Thu, so everyday our nanny Uncle Hank has baby Charlie plus one other child.

First Movie

We took Skip and Zadie (and Charlie, too, although he didn't think much of it) to their very first movie tonight. We went to see "Tangled." Since we've never really seen them watch a full-length movie before, we weren't sure how it would go, especially since I wouldn't say Skip has a particularly long attention span. But actually they both did really well.

Zadie sat at the edge of her seat the whole time completely entranced until the last moment and Skip sat on my lap and laughed at the funny animals, danced and applauded when there was music, and generally babbled throughout the movie. Hopefully the people around us weren't too annoyed by his chatter, but I figure if you're an adult who goes to Disney movies you really can't complain about kids in the theater.

More updates about Christmas and our trip to Portland later when I have photos!

Charlie's First Month

He's filling out in the cheeks!

Our rug matches Charlie's hair and his shirt.

Grandma Linda is here for two weeks to help us out -- much appreciated!

Zadie admiring her brand-new brother.

In the hospital to pick up Charlie, less than 24 hours after we got the surprise phone call!

Charlie turns five weeks old tomorrow (right?). Minus the big scare with the pyloric stenosis, Charlie is doing just great. He was so teensy tiny when we brought home and at first he had trouble gaining weight because he was vomiting, so now it's great to see him chug-a-lug. He weighed 6 lbs 6 oz at the time of his surgery and then exactly one week later he weighed 8 lbs 4 oz.

Although not nearly as beautiful as Kim's photos, here are some from Charlie's first month with the family. We love him and are so happy he's here -- even if he keeps us up at night!!

Skip's First Words

Before I forget, I should announce that during a trip away Skip started saying his first two words. The first was "Mama" and then "ball." I'm working on him to learn "Mommy," but so far no luck and I remember it took Zadie a while to learn that.

I can't find any blog posts I wrote about Zadie's first words or when that happened. I think it must have been "mama," too.

Two Toofs for Skip

This is the longest I've ever gone without posting a blog, so I'll try and do some quick updates. First of all, Skip got his first tooth/teeth like six weeks ago. Sorry for not better chronicling that milestone, Skip! His two bottom front teeth started to peek through right before he took his first step, but I just couldn't get a good photo of them so I never blogged about it.

But I just wanted the record to show that he got his first tooth/teeth at 10.5 months, almost exactly the same time as Zadie and just barely before he started his first steps.

Skip Takes His First Steps!

I'm way behind on my blogging, but I wanted to do a quick entry to announce that Skip has begun taking a few steps. I can't say he's really walking around just yet, but he's having a great time letting go and trying out his new skills. Very cute. I can't believe what an early walker he is!! Zadie better watch out because he's going to be running with her soon. Pretty good for 10.5 months!

Skip Takes a Few Steps! from Kate Kuykendall on Vimeo.

Skip Crawls!

Skip Crawls from Kate Kuykendall on Vimeo.

I can't believe I haven't blogged in a month. My readership has been in uproar about the lack of posts. Ha!! But seriously, the longer I wait between posts the harder it gets to blog because I feel like I have too much to say in one post. Also, I've really been wanting to post this video of Skip crawling, but I don't like uploading the videos. But here I am!

This video was shot on the first day Skip learned to crawl, February 28th, a few days shy of his 8 month birthday. So I think that makes him a pretty early crawler. And he's not just an early crawler -- he has excellent form to boot!

On that note, I'm reminded of this hilarious video we took of Zadie starting to crawl. It's hilarious now because she moved about a total of inch but we, blinded by our love, were so proud!!

Skip is really enjoying his newfound freedom and is one happy guy.

First Haircuts!

Zadie and Skip got their first official haircuts today, although Skip has had a few previous ones at home (which is part of why he needed an official one!). You can't tell much of a difference for Zadie except that it looks a lot healthier in the back. Skip looks like a little Marine.

We've been telling Zadie she was going to get a haircut for her second birthday for a while now, so she was pretty excited on the walk over, but once she got in the seat she was like a zombie (see above photo for evidence!). It was like someone had cast a spell on her. The good news is that she was a very good "patient," but I was starting to wonder if she was pooping and that's why she was so glazed over! She brightened up once it was over and she got a lollipop, though.

Skip was surprisingly okay with all the cutting and even the buzzing of the clippers. Hopefully this shorter haircut won't further accentuate the poor child's flat head!

Skip Turns 6 Months...and Eats Solids!

Skip turned six months old on January 3rd and he's hit some big milestones lately. He's been sitting up for about three weeks now and a few days ago he had his first try at solid foods.

We recorded Zadie's first meal way back in July of 2008 and it was pretty funny because Tori gave her zucchini and she definitely didn't like it. But I guess Tori is softening up because she gave Skip sweet potatoes for his first solid foods. He is FAR more interested in his first meal than Zadie was. He struggles to get the hang of the whole swallowing thing, but he's pretty enthusiastic about trying it. I'm hoping this means he is going to be a less picky eater than Zadie.

Skip had his six-month appointment a few days ago and things are mostly good. He's doing really well developmentally and with his height and weight, but he still has flathead. We're looking into helmets and have a consultation next week for it. The doctor says it isn't affecting his brain growth, but it's still not fun to have a misshapen head!

His exact specs were 27.25 inches long (76th percentile), 17lbs, 5 oz (50th percentile), and 16.75 something head circumference (24th percentile). I was surprised that when I compared this to Zadie's 6 month numbers Skip was actually slightly ahead of her in height and weight. I always think of Zadie as so much bigger.

Zadie and Skip Hit the Ranch!

Last weekend, Zadie, Skip, and Tori all had their very first taste of the family ranch. It was my first time visiting since 2001 and it was great to be back. The weather was a bit of a drag, but we still got to have one night by the campfire. Zadie loved every bit of tromping around in the mud. Thanks to my parents for putting us up in a motorhome!

A bunch of family in front of my parents' new shipping container that they converted into a high-end trailer. They're such die-hard environmentalists that they even recycle their home. Haha.

Me and Skip with my Aunt Nancy and Aunt Kay. Best part of Texas? My aunts live there.

Hanging out by the campfire on the night it didn't rain. Skip was so bundled up you can't really see him. I call this Tori's Amelia Earhart hat.

Zadie had fun getting dirty. I interrupted her shoveling long enough to get this photo with my dad. "Shovel" was her very first two-syllable word (besides "mama").

Thanks to Cousin Mark for letting us borrow his Polaris. Zadie started out really excited about steering, but then eventually fell asleep at the wheel.

Skip's First Bike Ride

Skip had his first bike ride yesterday, a few days shy of three months. Tori hooked up the trailer thing and pulled him behind her bike (Zadie was in her seat behind me). I wish I could say that Skip loved every minute of it, but at first he hated it. We didn't make it very far before we had to pull over, but once we got him out of there he loved being outside at the beach.

Yesterday was the best day at the beach! The water was warm, the temperature was perfect, we all got to ride bikes instead of deal with parking AND I found a boogie board in the trash. The foam was broken in three pieces, but it was still somewhat rideable. Boogie boarding is so fun -- I should do it more often.

Skip was a bit happier on the ride home, but he's just not a huge fan of either his car seat or his bike trailer. Hopefully that will change soon.

Wish I had a photo of all of us in our bike contraptions...

Zadie Meets Skip

Here's the video of Zadie meeting Skip for the first time. We had just driven Skip home from the hospital in Pasadena and Zadie was returning from a walk with Uncle Hank. She was obviously very curious about him and then gave him a nice little kiss!

Zadie has been really good to Skip this whole time. She likes to come over and pat him or bring him a pacifier. When Deshon was here, he could steal her toys and she did NOT like that at all -- she'd secretly elbow or give him a little kick here and there. But even Zadie can see that Skip is totally vulnerable and helpless and so she treats him with kindness.

At certain points, I've wondered if Zadie thinks Skip is a dog. When she sees him she gets really excited and barks at him. Maybe she thinks we brought home a little chihuahua. Either way, she likes him!

A Baby Boy!

Everybody keeps acting like this foster-adopt process is emotionally brutal and wondering how we can do it. It's definitely an emotional roller-coaster, but I also find some comfort in these kinds of situations where things are completely beyond your control. It's like you just let go and try to have faith that the right thing will happen -- there's really no ability to try and control the outcome.

Case in point: we felt a great deal of sadness about losing Deshon, but we also understood why it happened. Then today we received a call about a 4-day-old baby boy. We heard a few basics and we had five minutes to call the social worker back with an answer. It only took me two minutes to track Tori down and call the guy back with a big "yes." Then we drove to Pasadena and picked him up, which was really fun. He still doesn't have a name yet, but we're working on it!

This time we feel pretty confident that we'll get to keep him. Of course, being a foster parent means you never know until you work your way to the point of adoption, but we hope and think this is going to work out.

Baby Boy Kuykendall, we are very happy to have you in our home. We have been holding you non-stop since we got you and at this very moment Tori is holding you and you are doing some cute little half-asleep grins. I know everyone says babies don't smile until six weeks and it's just gas, but it sure seems like smiles. You have a big shock full of black hair, rosy cheeks, and perfect little red lips. You also have enormous feet! Best of all, you have a great temperament and have only cried when you really needed to tell us something (thank you for that!). But check back with me after our first night together -- we'll find out what kind of sleeper you are!

We feel very privileged to have you here and, in a stroke of good fortune, it just so happens that Grandma Linda was arriving tonight. She totally hogged you all night and loved holding you and talking to you.

Here's a video from when we went to pick you up at the hospital. Tori was actually the first person to hold you and rock you, but my camerawork on that video was pretty bad so I'm going to post this one. The nurse kept wanting us to handle paperwork and all we wanted to do was snuggle with you.

She Walks!

Well, it's taken 13 and a half months, but Zadie finally took her very first steps last Thursday. Hank dropped her off at our office and, in front of several co-workers, she took three steps in a row. Everyone cheered and she got freaked out and started bawling.
She hasn't done much walking since then, but last night we tried to lure her to walk by holding the pacifier out for here. Here's a little video clip of her showing off her new talent.