Signing Off (for now)...

I'm signing off for now because my flight leaves in a few hours and I've heard that I won't be able to access Blogspot in China. I've been really excited about my China trip because I haven't been back in four years and going to China, seeing friends, eating Chinese food, and practicing my Chinese are some of my very favorite things in life. But all of the sudden I'm starting to have a little bit of anxiety about my trip and, as my friend Erin would say, I'm starting to do some "stinkin' thinkin'."

This is one of the many ways that I've really changed since having children -- and I don't think it's for the better! Whereas I used to be a footloose and fancy free person who didn't even comprehend the word "anxiety," now suddenly I'm second-guessing our decision to leave Zadie at home, feeling super sad about not seeing her for a month, and running through every possible worst-case scenario. Who am I?! I got totally weepy saying good night to Zadie tonight (not that she noticed). I know it's crazy because she'll have a great time with her two grandmas, but I think it's all compounded by the fact that leaving your child behind for a month is not a super mainstream, traditional thing to do. That doesn't help with the second-guessing!

Anyway, I think the best thing to do is to march forward and try to enjoy every moment of the trip and stop thinking about my plane crashing (which, by the way, I never thought about for one second prior to having children!!). All week long I've actually been giddy and excited about my 16-hour plane ride because that means 16 hours of free time to do whatever I want. Yeehaw!

Okay, really signing off now.