Skip on Harmonica

Remember my post a few weeks ago about Skip's total fascination with live music?  I just realized I have this video clip of him playing harmonica to share.  Clearly he isn't exactly rocking a real song, but I do think you can see a little of his understanding of how to work a crowd in this video, which was probably taken about six months ago.


Skip Playing Harmonica from Kate K. on Vimeo.

Double the Trouble, Double the Fun

Ever since Charlie was very small, Skip has made him belly laugh.  I don't know what it is about Skip, but when Zadie tries she can't quite get him to laugh like Skip can.  Now that Charlie is walking, the two boys have been having lots of fun chasing each other around the house and generally being boys together.

The only problem with this is that, at some point, Charlie's laughter typically turns to tears during the course of their play because Skip gets so hyped up that he ends up hurting him.  So it's kind of hard as a parent to monitor because you want them to play together like wild boys, but you're just waiting to intervene for when Skip takes something too far and accidentally hurts him.  Charlie doesn't stay upset long and hopefully as Skip gets older he'll be better about being more gentle.  Or, more likely, Charlie will get bigger and will start hurting Skip instead!

Anyway, hearing these two boys laugh and play together is definitely a fun part of our daily lives.  They were both giggling like crazy before Tori took out the video camera and then, like always, they get interested in the video camera and stop laughing quite so hard.  So watch the video and imagine the laughter times ten.

Skip & Charlie Jumping on Bed from Kate K. on Vimeo.

Zadie's 4-Year Checkup

The results are in.  Zadie is 42.25 inches tall (94th percentile) and 41 pounds (80th percentile).  She says she likes to be tall, but doesn't want to be too tall.  For her sake, hopefully my relatively short genes will help.

And she's fit as a fiddle and I am so thankful for her good health!

A Song for Whitney

I sing the kids songs every night before they go to bed.  Skip and Zadie used to each pick a song and Zadie would always pick "Supercalifragilistic" and Skip would always pick "Row, Row, Row Your Boat."  But since we put Charlie in the same room with them, I don't have nearly as much time for fiddling around with songs and special requests because if I dawdle in there he starts crying and wants me to hold him, so I have to make it quick.

In light of Whitney Houston's death yesterday, tonight I sang "The Greatest Love of All," or at least the parts of it that I remembered well.  Sometimes I can hear Tori in the other room laughing at me because the fun part about singing for your kids is that you can really belt it out.  There was a period of about two months when both Skip and Zadie kept requesting "Supercalifragilistic" and I was really sick of singing it.  Then, out of the blue, one night Zadie requested "Tomorrow" and I was so excited that I think I actually inhabited the role.  I'm pretty sure I nailed it because it came from somewhere deep inside of me.

If any of you have ever heard me sing, I'm sure you're skeptical.  I've been told on multiple occasions that I am tone-deaf.  But, again, the fun part of singing for your kids is that they have no clue one way or the other.  In fact, I have the two older kids trained so that whenever I sing a song (about 10 times a day), they say, "Mommy, I like your singing!"  And they're very earnest in their praise, I might add.  Sometimes I ask who the better singer is, me or Tori, and they always pick me.  My specialty is actually patriotic songs, like the national anthem and "America the Beautiful." But, in a pinch, I can also do Whitney Houston.

The Limitations of a Manny

It's not weird enough to be one of the very few (only?) same sex couples in our town with kids.  We're also the only people I know who have a male nanny, or "manny."  Uncle Hank, Tori's brother, has been our nanny since Zadie was about six months old and has been extremely talented and resilient as we continue to pile more and more kids on him!  I really respect Uncle Hank for his seemingly unending supply of patience (I've never seen him lose his temper or get frustrated), his creativity, and his willingness to play Legos with our kids for hours upon hours.  We are extremely fortunate to have a manny who is not only a close family member, but also a gifted caregiver.

Having said all this, there are some limitations to having a manny.  Just check out the above photo to see how he dressed our two boys.  I came home from work and asked Tori if that was some kind of a joke.  Why does he always try to match plaids with plaid?  I think that's one of the first things you learn as a kid when you learn how to get dressed in the morning -- plaids never go with plaids.

But, despite his severe deficiencies in the wardrobe department, we are very fortunate to have Uncle Hank!

Today's Ruling on Gay Marriage

Today the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals ruled, by a 2-1 vote, that Prop 8 is unconstitutional.  I had been waiting for the announcement of their ruling around 10am this morning and was very excited to hear the good news.

Two years ago, when a gay rights group first filed in federal court, it was very controversial among the LGBT community because filing in the federal courts means that the case may go all the way to the Supreme Court and many in the LGBT community did not feel we would have the votes to win, and a loss would be a terrible blow that would set the cause of gay marriage back many years (and possibly decades).  As time has gone on and polling shows the majority of Americans now support gay marriage, I have felt more and more optimistic about this strategy.  After today's ruling was announced, I even felt excited about the possibility that the Supreme Court would hear the case as early as next year.  I'm sending positive vibes to Anthony Kennedy as I write this!

But now I'm reading that the very narrow ruling in this case means it may never reach the Supreme Court and, if it does, the Court would probably only issue another narrow ruling without national implications.  While I appreciate the fact that my marriage is legal in the state of California and I hope that future  same-sex Californians can marry again in this state, it's really the 1,138 federal rights of marriage that I'm after.  I want to file my taxes jointly, I want Social Security benefits to carry on to my spouse if I die before her, and I want my marriage to still be valid when I leave the state of California.  And, as a federal employee, I will soon start paying a hefty monthly sum because I'm married to a woman and not a man.  When Tori gets laid off on March 2nd, she will have to purchase a health insurance plan out of pocket because the federal government does not recognize our relationship and I cannot include her on my family health plan.  If the Supreme Court were to rule that marriage is a civil right, then the Defense of Marriage Act would end and I could save a couple of hundred bucks a month on Tori's health insurance. And then there's that whole human dignity thing that I thought today's ruling put so nicely:

Marriage is the name that society gives to the relationship that matters most between two adults.  A rose by any other name may smell as sweet, but to the couple desiring to enter into a committed lifelong relationship, a marriage by the name of 'registered domestic partnership' does not.

Watch Out: Here Comes Politics & Current Events

When I started this blog after Zadie was born (or, more specifically, when my sister started this blog for me), I really only wanted it to be an electronic baby book that documented Zadie's early years.  Because of the ongoing culture wars in this country, I was worried about sharing too much about my personal life or my politics -- I didn't want to draw attacks from people critical of gay families.  I'm mostly talking about attacks in the form of mean-spirited comments or other online criticism, but it's also true that I've been very careful about what I disclose on the blog with regards to our physical location and identities.  I know it's a very remote possibility, and I'm happy to say that I feel it's more and more remote, but I felt so much hatred towards gay families in 2008 that I did worry a bit about some crazy person harming us.  It felt like the best way to deal with all the negativity was to just share the photos and stories of our life as new parents (which weren't all that different from any other new parents).

Having said all this, I tend to post entries with an eye for what my kids might be interested in reading many years down the road.  I would love to read what my parents were thinking about during some of the big events from my childhood, whether that was Jimmy Carter losing his re-election bid or even some pop culture event that I know nothing about.  I can talk to them about these events now, but it's different to read a journal of what someone was thinking at the time.

So, with that in mind, I'm going to occasionally post stories about my thoughts on the news of the day.  I think the only time I've done this in the past was my "Bittersweet" post when Obama won and Prop 8 passed.  And maybe our legal wedding day here and here.  Hopefully my few readers won't mind an occasional posting that doesn't involved photos of the kids!

Thank you, Southern California

My parents invited us to a lovely RV camping trip at the Silver Strand State Beach in Coronado. That's them walking with the gaggle of kids.

Thank you, Southern California, for a perfect weekend.  Sunny and warm weather at the beach in early February is pretty special.  Sometimes I bemoan the cost of living here, but this weekend, Southern California, you really proved yourself to me.  I think I heard someone on Facebook call it a "sunshine tax."  Because of this tax, we cram three kids into one bedroom and live in a plain duplex with thin walls and a grumpy neighbor.  But this weekend, at least, I was okay with that.

When I was younger, I thought people who let the weather affect their moods were kind of losers.  I hardly paid attention to the weather because I was planning on having a great day regardless.  I went to college in the "snow belt" of upstate New York and could never understand what people were complaining about with regards to grey skies and snow.  When Tori and I lived in San Francisco, I used to get really frustrated about the fact that we basically spent our weekends chasing the sun in that most sun-deprived of all cities.  She would call people in different neighborhoods and ask if the sun was shining or not and, if it was, we had to hop on a bus to try and soak it up before the fog rolled in.

I know people say parenting changes you, but I didn't think it would impact my feelings about the weather.  Now I'm one of those people who actually reads the weather forecast in the paper.  I enjoy my kids about 100 times more when they're outside and so I now really appreciate warm days when the kids can play outside or, ideally, when we can take them to the beach.  I've gained a much greater appreciation for parents who live in cold areas because that is a whole other challenge that I'm unprepared to face.  Major respect to parents in those cold climates!

Major Changes Ahead

Peace Corps is a unique federal agency in that it limits staff members to only five consecutive years of employment, at which time their contract ends.  On March 2nd, Tori will have spent five years working as a Peace Corps recruiter, during which time she ranked as the top recruiter in terms of total applicant nominations.  I'm very proud of her for being such an enthusiastic and personable face of the Peace Corps and I will really miss working with her.

One week later, I will finish nearly four and a half years with Peace Corps and will move on to a new position as the public affairs officer for the National Park Service.  I'm really excited about my new job and I can't imagine a position that I would be equally excited about, but I do admit that I have a lot of sadness about leaving the Peace Corps.  I've been working for Peace Corps, either as a volunteer or a staff member, for 10 of the last 14 years.  I love the agency and it's hard for me to imagine working anywhere else.

Though I probably wouldn't leave if it weren't for the five-year-rule, I know I will have lots of new and challenging experiences in my next job that will give me opportunities to grow professionally and personally.  So it's kind of good to get kicked out the door, I suppose.  One of the biggest changes will be adjusting to being an outsider instead of an insider.  Again, lots of opportunities for growth and new learning.  I'm excited to work on some meatier policy issues such as land use, development, and the environment that I've long been interested in but haven't worked on in a professional capacity.

On top of these professional changes, we'll also be moving to a new community AND Tori will start her new job as a stay-at-home mom.  She has some trepidation about this change (I would personally have so much trepidation I might run for the hills), so she's continuing to keep her eyes open for another job that would be as family-friendly as our Peace Corps jobs have been.  But, given the economy, this will be challenging and so she's easing into her stay-at-home momhood by spending the first two months in Costa Rica with Grandma Linda.  This will give her the chance to have her mom's help and hopefully really get to connect with our kids in a fun and more stress-free environment (the beach!).  More on that later.

As you can see, we've got some major changes ahead!