Charlie Runs Into His Teachers' Arms Now!

Since so many of you expressed condolences over how difficult the transition to daycare was, especially on Charlie, I thought an update was in order. Charlie now runs into his teachers' arms!

Big phew. Tori is usually the one to drop the kids off, and she asks him to find his classroom. So he runs through the hallways excitedly finding his classroom and then runs into one of his teachers' arms. With gusto. Let me tell you, that is a much better way to start of your day than our previous reality.

I wouldn't blame these teachers if they were fed up with him and didn't exactly look forward to his arrival, considering all the screaming he did that first week. But I guess that's why they work at a daycare and I don't. Somehow they seemed to genuinely be happy to see him and two of them individually told me touching stories about how much they like him and how they take photos of him to show their elderly mother (who had 10 redheads of her own!) and other family members.

This makes me think of how, not too long ago, the only career choices for a woman were to be a nurse or a teacher. Both are very important careers, but given my queasy stomach and the fact that I'm not very talented with young people (or at lesson-planning), I would have really struggled. And if I had to make my living working at a daycare center, I would be concerned for my family's welfare. So I'm thankful that times have changed and there are so many options for women now!

A Day to Hug Your Kids Tight

This photo is from a few months ago, but I love it because it's so hard to get all three kids smiling so happily and naturally.  It seemed like an appropriate photo for a post about being thankful for each one of them.

It seems like there's news about a terrible shooting about once a month these days, but today's shooting at a school in Connecticut is disturbing on a whole different level given that 20 very young children died.  Obviously that makes you think of your own kids and generally scares the heck out of you (I saw a few friends posting on Facebook about wanting to homeschool their kids).

So this afternoon when I went to pick the kids up from daycare I decided we were going to have an "I love my children" evening with movies, candy, and hot chocolate with little marshmallows.  I told them we were going to have a really special night and that I wanted them to know how much I loved them, but they were kind of missing the context since they don't know anything about the shooting (one of the benefits of not having a television) and I certainly didn't want to share.  They didn't notice me getting choked up when I was trying to talk to them about how much I love them.  Luckily they were much more concerned about what specific candy and treats would be involved.

We came home and they each got to pick a show to watch on the computer -- that's three whole television shows!  Tori made salmon for dinner and then we gave them hot chocolate with teensy marshmallows.

Unfortunately, I had a hard time staying focused on happy, loving thoughts because each one of them was being kind of a pain in the neck (sometimes spoiling your kids for one night actually leads to really annoying behavior, as it turns out).

Regardless, today is definitely a day to hug your kids tighter than normal, spoil them a little bit more, and just generally give thanks that they're safe and healthy.  I'm so, so sorry for the families that don't get to do that tonight.

I'm a Junkie

The beautiful lobby of the L.A. Times building.  Courtesy of Ilpo's Sojourn, Wikimedia Commons.

Tori thinks I have a problem.  I think it's under control.  I'm talking about my compulsion to read every inch of the Los Angeles Times everyday.  I'm not one of those people who goes on vacation and signs up for the newspapers to be donated to a local school.  I like for them to be held for me so that when I get home I can make sure that I haven't missed anything.  I don't actually read every inch, but I do read almost every article and I have to scan every headline and first paragraph to make sure I'm not missing something important.

Naturally, I feel attached to the writers.  Or at least I think that's only natural.  I have a funny habit of reading the headline and testing myself to see whether I guess the reporter.  I can't always get it right because of course these days writers don't always stick to a certain beat, but I'm pretty familiar with most of the names.

Today was very special because I was given a tour by a reporter who I've worked with on a few stories (part of my job is media relations).  She was kind enough to spend two hours showing me around the building and introducing me to people whose bylines I've been reading for several years now.  At one point she said hi to a guy we passed in the hallway named Ralph and I asked her if that was Ralph so-and-so.  She thought that was so funny that I knew who he was and so whenever she introduced me to people she'd say, "She's a total Times junkie -- she even recognized Ralph so-and-so!"  And then the other person would usually make a joke about how there's probably only a total of three Times junkies out there.

Everyone seemed bemused that people were actually reading and appreciating their work since I think they've been operating under such a difficult situation with so much criticism about a degraded product (which is only natural given the changes in the industry).  They seemed surprised they even had any fans left, which made me want to start a Times appreciation society. Then again, I'm definitely the only 35-year-old I know who gets it delivered to her doorstep every morning.

Anyway, it was a really wonderful day and the only thing that would have been better is if I would have actually taken a photo on my big day.  I even got to crash their holiday potluck party, which was great!

Tori's New Job, and What That Means for the Kiddos

After nine months of staying home with the kids, Tori started her new position with the National Park Service this week.  I'm really excited for her because I know that she'll enjoy her work -- her main focus will be to attract diverse and nontraditional audiences to engage with the park.  This is actually the third time (in a row) that we've worked for the same organization, so I suppose it was just a matter of time before it happened.  There are many things I really love about working with Tori, although this time around we're in a much larger office and won't work together too closely.

Although I think her decision to accept this position was the right one for our family, it's been really hard these first few days.  This is the first time we've ever put our kids in full-time daycare and Charlie has been really unhappy about it.  He's not one to keep his feelings bottled up inside, and the screams of despair have been really hard to take.  I know it will get better, but for now it just keeps getting worse because he's building up anxiety earlier and earlier in the morning.  

Sometimes I think mothers over-dramatize how torn apart they are when leaving their kids behind to go to work.  I personally have never really experienced that in the past.  It was more like, "Catch you later."  But this situation with Charlie has been really emotionally exhausting and I feel like it's clawing at my heart in a way I've never experienced before.  I think it's partly because Charlie is a way less go-with-the-flow than Skip or Zadie (and this is his first time in daycare), partly because it gets dark so early right now, and mostly because we always had the good fortune of having Uncle Hank.  Leaving your kids at a little institution is just a much harder experience (though Skip and Zadie did go to a local daycare a few days a week).  There's something about doing it five days a week that seems really hard.

Then again, I know plenty of people whose kids have been in similar situations since they were three months old and it's not like I look at those kids with pity.  I've never been one of those people who think it's a travesty to have kids in daycare all day.

But this Charlie thing is killing me!  

Parenting from Behind the Newspaper

Tori went to a bunch of garage sales with a friend this morning.  She's been gone about three hours so far and I'm happy to report that I've spent most of the morning parenting from behind a newspaper.  Without incident, no less.  

This is what I always thought it would be like to be a parent.  I could do my own thing while occasionally glancing over at my children busily playing amongst themselves.  Needless to say, it hasn't been my reality thus far.  I was very misinformed about what parenting was all about.  I often wonder why people close to me didn't do a better job disabusing me about all my stupid ideas about parenting and what a piece of cake it would be.  But then I remember that I refused to listen to anyone and was determined that they were exaggerating and not understanding how very basic parenting can be in other parts of the world.  Alas, I don't live in a small village in a foreign land where children run far and wide, unsupervised, and playing with sticks and stones.  Or in 1950s East Texas, where my dad and his siblings experienced basically the same thing.

So that's why this morning has been so revelatory.  Our previous weekends as parents have been jam-packed with activities designed to keep us from going completely bonkers in a household of three wild children.  Does this mean that I can reclaim Saturday morning and read the newspaper while the kids happily entertain themselves without serious injury?  Maybe I could actually start a novel.  Was it just a matter of time, and age, until my vision of parenting really kicked in?  Now convincing Tori to stay home is another matter entirely...

Stay tuned.