Baby Charlie

I haven't written much lately about Charlie and the whole foster-to-adopt situation, mostly because it's fairly complex and has been frustrating and emotional. And not for all of the obvious reasons.

Basically at this point we have a pretty good inkling that we will not get to keep Charlie because he has an older half-sister who has come forward and wants to take care of him. Birth relatives always have priority, which I understand. When we first learned about this I was kind of shocked because I had a really strong gut feeling that we were going to get to keep him. That was a very sad period -- I think this was in mid-November or so.

We've had two court dates since then, including one yesterday, at which we wondered if the judge would order Charlie to be in the sister's custody. That hasn't happened yet because her home study and background check has not yet cleared, but it seems imminent. The uncertainty of the situation is obviously challenging, not only for emotional reasons but also for logistical and financial reasons related to daycare commitments and cars (three car seats don't fit in our Honda Civic and we've been borrowing my parents' SUV) and so on.

Like I said, the emotions behind all of this are complex and I wouldn't know how -- or if I even should -- tackle them in one blog post. I'm not upset at all with the system since this is basically exactly what we signed up for as foster parents. I'm trying to focus on a sense of purpose related to providing the best and most loving home I can for Charlie, regardless of where he ends up being placed. And I think that of all the service work Tori and I have ever done, this is definitely the most important and valuable service we've ever been able to offer. But also certainly the most challenging.

Our next court date has been scheduled for February 28th, so I will give another update at that point...