Sophie and Izzy Visit & Weekend Mornings

A few weekends ago we had a nice visit with Sophie and Izzy.  They came to L.A. with my sister and mom to connect with an aunt who was in town.  We hung out at The Grove, had ice cream together, and then my mom and sister drove back to San Diego.  And we got to keep the girls overnight!

Even though we're kind of overwhelmed with our own three, it really wasn't too much extra work to have the twins here because they are really well-behaved and they kind of keep Zadie busy.  And actually Sophie is really good about playing with Skip, although Zadie tries her hardest to exclude him at every opportunity.  Sophie is interesting because she is very independent and often breaks away from the group, or decides to spend time with Skip or Charlie.  Everybody played well together and I was happy for Zadie to get some quality time with her cousins.

Tori and I trade off taking all three kids out of the house on the weekends, usually from 6:30am (when they're allowed to get out of their beds) until about 10am.  It's hard to manage all three, but at least somebody gets to have one peaceful and restful morning per week.  So I don't mind taking on the challenge since I know that I'm going to benefit from the system.  I usually take the kids to the park from 6:30am to 7:15am and they ride their scooters while I feed Charlie.  Then we go to Jamba Juice and they also eat some of the steel-cut oatmeal there.  Then we go to a different park afterwards.  Tori usually takes the kids garage-saling, though I really don't understand how she manages all of that, especially because at that time of the morning the kids are always needing to pee or poop (and never at the same time).  Apparently she just asks lots of people if she can use their bathroom and I guess she's pretty hard to turn down with three kids in tow.

Anyway, I was quite proud of myself for taking all five kids away on the Sunday morning when they were here.  First we went to the park and they ran around for a long time.  Then I actually took them to that evil restaurant that has the playground, but annoyingly doesn't open until 9am.  I figured since I was so desperate to manage them all, it was pretty justified.  And they were pretty excited about that whole set-up.  The other people in that restaurant were quite curious about my five children -- lots of questions about that.  And looks of pity.

I've taken Skip and Zadie to "the restaurant with the playground" a few times but I really try to avoid using it's actual name because I don't want them to start asking to go there or building some associations with it. Lord knows I was the biggest McDonald's addict of all when I was a kid and, even though I know how bad it is to eat there, I still have to go there like once per month out of some chemical addiction.  And then Tori sees it on our credit card bill and is appalled, month after month!

Here are some photos from the weekend that my sister took:

Zadie and Jake Forever

A few weekends ago we went to San Diego with some very good friends from L.A.  We had a great time and one of the best parts was how well Zadie played with Jake.  This was really fun during the day, but kind of an issue at night since they were sleeping in the same room and they would keep each other up late chatting the night away.  But this was a really cute photo we snapped of the two of them sleeping while holding hands, probably after chatting for like three hours.

On this particular night, my nephew Nick was babysitting and he couldn't get the kids to go to sleep.  He said that Jake kept talking and talking and that Zadie told Jake that she was really tired and that if he didn't stop talking then she wouldn't be his best friend anymore.  This made Jake really sad and he came out of the room crying to talk with Nick, who was sort of at a loss for what to say.  I wish she wouldn't have said that to him (telling people she's not their best friend anymore is her new favorite insult), but it's also kind of amusing to me!

Skip's Cool New Shirt

A friend of ours gave us some really great boys' hand-me-downs and our kids have been really stylin' since then.  All of the clothes are really great collared shirts and most are actually more formal than this, but this is one of our very favorites.  That Skipper is a handsome little devil.

I think most people would be surprised to know that Tori is quite strict about the clothes our children wear.  She's really into them being sharp dressers and the boys almost always wear a collared shirt everyday.  I think most people (including myself) would assume that Tori would not really give a hoot about what kids wear, but it turns out she's quite discriminating.

Charlie Adoption Update

Two weeks ago, Charlie had an important court date that Tori and I attended. It was our first time to actually go inside the courtroom because for some reason in the past we've been relegated to the waiting room. Anyway, there was quite a bit of drama and anticipation as we listened to the back and forth between lawyers appointed to represent Charlie, his birth dad, his birth mom, and the county. We didn't understand all that was going on, especially because the judge was a major mumbler (seems like judges shouldn't be allowed to mumble), but ultimately we got the outcome that we were hoping for: the parental rights of Charlie's birth parents were terminated.

This is a major step in the adoption process, so we were excited when Charlie's appointed lawyer told us that the adoption should be complete hopefully before the next status hearing in January. Knowing that things often take longer than expected, we were thinking we'd for sure have this all completed in the next three to six months.

Then last week the county social worker came out and told us that they can't find his birth certificate, which is a huge issue and could be a major source of delay. I could tell she was nervous to tell us this, but it's definitely not her fault (she was just assigned to the case), so there wasn't much to say. We're disappointed about the delay, but since the parental rights have been terminated we're still very confident that it's just a matter of time until we can legally adopt Charlie.

Zadie Wants Two Sisters

Zadie was only 17 months when Skip arrived, so she didn't really think much of it. When Charlie arrived she was initially very excited about being a big sister and helping to take care of such a tiny baby, but that gave way to indifference and then, I think, minor resentment because Charlie was such a high-maintenance baby who demanded so much of her time. She quickly realized that it was due to his arrival that we had less time available for reading books and playing puzzles with her.

For a long time now, whenever I ask Zadie if she wants another sibling, she always says no. She won't really elaborate, but she's always very firm in her answer. But tonight when Tori made some comment about saving baby clothes for the possibility of a future child, I asked Zadie to weigh in.

Me: Zadie, do you want us to have another baby?

Zadie: Yeah!

Me: You do? Really?

Zadie: Yeah!

Me: Would you rather have a brother or a sister?

Zadie: A sister.

Me: But what would you think if you had another brother?

Zadie: That would be okay...but I want two sisters and another mommy.

Tori: Why do you want another Mommy?

Zadie: So that one could take care of Charlie and one could take care of Skip and one could take care of me and one could take care of the sisters [We didn't point out this more than three mommies].

Kate: So you want another sister even though that would mean we might have less time for playing games and puzzles with you?

Zadie: Yes.

So I guess Zadie is on board for another child, but I'm not making any promises. At the moment, the answer is no way, Jose.

It does make me happy to know that she's in the mood for another and isn't feeling so deficient in attention from her parents. She's a great big sister...most of the time!

Time Alone

Whenever I have time alone or, more accurately, time away from our children, I feel a big countdown clock looming above me. As in, you have four hours of adult time that you must take full advantage of. There's a certain amount of stress involved because there is so much urgency and (self-imposed) pressure to make the absolute most of the time.

Yesterday Tori took the three kids to a party at her aunt's house and I had from 1:30pm to 7pm all to myself. That is an extraordinary gift and I was a little unsure how to use it. Here were some of my thoughts on how best to use the time:

--Do absolutely nothing so that I became so bored that I was actually excited to see my family when they came home and wishing they would hurry up and arrive. I quickly dismissed this option as unrealistic.

--Catch up on sleep. This was very appealing, but I didn't feel tired in that particular moment and it also seemed like a bit of a waste.

--Go to a coffee shop and read. This was very appealing, but I only had my bike and the tea house I wanted to go to made for a very traffic-filled and unattractive ride.

--Spend the whole time doing a major cleaning involving toilet scrubbing and bathtub scrubbing. I dismissed this because it seemed against the whole point of my time alone.

--Go to a movie. This is the option I ultimately chose because it just so happened that I had two good friends ready and willing to go to a 2pm showing of Stupid, Crazy Love, a film I had really been wanting to see.

After the movie I still had even MORE time to maximize and, as the time comes to an end, I feel an even more intense sense of urgency. So I also read the whole Sunday paper and an issue of LA Weekly, washed the dishes and picked up the house, and started my new Spotify music account.

All in all, it was time well-spent and I owe Tori big-time for this special treat. It's way less stressful when it's a big chunk of time and you can do a couple of different things.