Ozboblie

Naming a child is an honor, but kind of a stressful honor.  I think most people want something that is special and maybe a little bit unique, but not something that they'll be tortured about at school.  We feel like we hit the sweet spot with Zadie.  With Skip, we sometimes worry that he might catch some hell for his funny name (though mostly I think he can pull it off).  And with Charlie, we worry that we over-corrected a bit much and there will be three other Charlies in his class and on his soccer team.

I think naming your child is much harder when it's a foster child and you only have literally five to ten minutes notice that this human being will be entering your life.  Somehow with both Skip and Charlie, we really felt like we were in a pressure cooker to come up with a name and we spent lots of time agonizing over it -- all during the same period when we were extremely sleep-deprived because we were unexpectedly taking care of a newborn.  The longer it dragged on, the more entrenched each of us got with our favorite names.

Charlie was always on our list of favorite names, but after we actually brought home the boy now known as Charlie (he was named Ryan Michael by his birth parents), Tori became so dead set on naming him Ozzie that I feel she really started to hate any other name.  My version of this story is that I finally acquiesced to letting her call him Ozzie as long as she understood that it was temporary until we came to a final decision (since she said we needed to call him something).  Her version is that I reneged on the name.

Anyway, I ultimately backed out of Ozzie and Tori has never really forgiven me for that one.  Lately she's really taken to calling him Ozzie and he now answers to both Charlie and Ozzie.  Skip and Zadie have also lately started to call him Ozzie.

And now, in addition to Charlie and Ozzie (and the fact that he'll always be Ryan to his birth parents), this child can add a new name to the list: Bobby!  It started a few weeks ago when I went on a little drive alone with Charlie and I tried to actually strike up conversation.  Among the many questions I asked him was what his name was.  He didn't say anything, so I said, "Is your name John?" And he kept saying no to a few names until I got to Bobby, and then he said yes.  And when I would ask what his name was, he kept saying it was Bobby, but in this funny baby way that sounded like Bubby.  Now the other kids think it's really funny to ask him what his name is and listen to him say "Bubby" in his ridiculous little voice.  And they all get the giggles really bad.

So there it is.  It's so hard to come up with just the right name for your child that this poor little boy has three or four!  Maybe we can call him Ozboblie for short -- bet there won't be any other kids on his soccer team with that one!

On the Farm in Oregon: The Long Way Home

I mentioned earlier that Tori decided to drive the kids all the way to Washington state, and now she is making her way back home.  She doesn't drive in very long stretches, usually about four hours each day.  She spent a few days with her brother in Portland (the scene of the piercings), and also a few days with our friends Amy and Jenelle at their family's small farm near Ashland.  I'm told the kids loved driving this little tractor around, getting eggs from the henhouse, and running around with Amy and Jenelle's two kids.

Thanks to Amy, Jenelle, and Ronnie for hosting my family for a few days!

They're now staying with friends in Modesto and tomorrow I'll meet up with them out in the Central Valley, where we always spend the Fourth of July.

Turning the Tables: Piercings

A few nights ago Tori called me from Portland to tell me that she had just gotten her nose pierced.  She had been talking about it for a while, so I wasn't too surprised about that.  Then she asked whether Zadie could get her nose pierced, too.  I said of course not.  Tori pointed out that it's totally normally in East Indian culture for little girls to have their noses pierced and I said that's terrific, but she's clearly not East Indian.

I could hear Zadie in the background pushing the issue and I told Tori to tell her that in America, it's not normal for little girls to get their noses pierced.  Zadie then said that she didn't want to be normal and that she wanted to be really unique.

The irony is not lost upon me that I am now trying to force my daughter to be "normal" when few kids fought harder against that definition than I did.  My mom eventually gave up her battles with me (I outlasted her), but I definitely remember the arguments over the dresses and skirts she wanted me to wear and the cutesie hairstyles she attempted.  I also remember her brushing my hair every night before I went to bed and putting those squishy pink curlers in my hair that I had to sleep with.  As a mother, I now look back and think, wow, that was a serious act of love that she spent all that time doing that, but at the time I seriously hated every minute of it.  I credit my mom for letting go of those battles with me at a relatively young age.  For the most part, I think I was free to be poorly dressed with ratty sneakers and a bowl cut from about kindergarten on.  After that point, she was pretty selective in the battles she chose.

So my own personal history can sometimes make me think twice about trying to force Zadie to conform.  In this case, the compromise was that she got to have her ears pierced (see photo below).  She didn't cry one bit and she's really happy with her newly pierced ears.

I don't know how old I was when my mom had my ears pierced, but young enough that I don't remember it. As soon as I began exercising more freedom with my appearance, I promptly took those earrings out and let the holes close (I got them pierced again when I was in my early twenties).  It will be interesting to see how this evolves with Zadie.

One More Memory from Port Angeles

I always say that I love my children the most when we're at the beach.

So when I got to pick the outing for my last day in Port Angeles, I chose a trip to the mouth of the Elwha River and the surrounding "beach."  It's not really a beach from a Southern California perspective, but what it lacked in white sand it made up for in flotsam.  And little kids really enjoy flotsam.  All three had a great time picking through a wide and curious assortment of rocks, sticks, logs, seaweed, and shells.  I think we could have stayed much longer, but I had to get back to catch my bus.


Right before we left, we checked out this welcoming little structure, which Grandma Linda called a surf shack.  Talk about an amazing little fort.  I like to think about the people who built this little shack and how excited they must have been when they found that one huge curved piece of wood that makes the perfect entryway.  


I hope our kids remember these sort of adventures.  I mean, as opposed to many other memories they could have of the time they spend with me when I might be grumpy or frustrated or overwhelmed.  I feel very confident they'll remember Tori as being fun and lovable, but hopefully they'll have some fun memories of me socked away in there somewhere.  And hopefully this will be one of them.

Exploring the Olympic Peninsula

I'm nearing the end of my 10-day vacation in Seattle and (mostly) the Olympic Peninsula town of Port Angeles.  I think this is actually my fourth trip to Port Angeles, where Tori's mom lives, but somehow I don't feel like I've really become very familiar with the area.  I think maybe that's because the weather and also too many teensy children have kind of limited our explorations.

This trip, though, the kids are a little bigger and a little more fun to take on day trips.  We decided to nix our camping plans since the idea of camping with five kids ages four and under just sounded a little too hectic (we also have Tori's twin nieces with us).  Maybe next year!

Instead, we've taken some nice day trips around the area and in Olympic National Park.  Until yesterday, the weather has been great and it's been nice to see the amazing beauty of this part of the world.  I think it's a very appropriate consolation prize for their very unfortunate weather!

Zadie and Skip at Salt Creek Beach tidepools.  Very fun day!

We drove to Hurricane Ridge, about 5400 feet elevation in Olympic National Park and the kids were super excited to play in the snow -- for about 30 seconds before they started complaining about cold hands!  Love this photo of Zadie with Grams.

A few days earlier, I drove to Hurricane Ridge with just Charlie and had a grand ol' time showing him the deer and the mountains.  After we saw one deer, he would say, "Another one! Another one!"

This was during the 30-second interval when the kids were really excited about the snow and before they started complaining about being cold.  Then Grandma Linda treated us all to overpriced hot cocoa.

Charlie in Portland

Tori and the kids hit the road again earlier this week.  Tori piled our three kids and lots luggage, scooters, and an ice chest into our dear Honda Civic to begin her long journey to Seattle.  She was fortunate to have our friend Maya riding shotgun and helping with the kids for the first leg (to San Francisco), but since then she's been doing it all on her own and staying with family and friends along the way.

I thought this seemed like a really bad idea, but last night she told me that it's kind of nice to spend about 4-5 hours per day with the kids strapped into their seats while all she has to do is drive.  That's one way to look at it, I suppose.  She said it's tiring to drive that long and her butt hurts, but at least the kids mostly just sit there or sleep and they actually understand that she can't really meet their needs while she's driving.  The other help is that Skip and Zadie are allowed to use the iPad in 10-minute turns and they only get to use it on long car rides or airplane rides, so they find that very exciting and we have lots of cool games that help pass the time.  For this trip, Tori strapped a bungee cord across the front seat headrests and then hangs the iPad on there so that they can actually watch a movie -- just like those fancy people who have built-in DVD players!

Anyway, the point of this post was to share this sweet photo that Tori sent me yesterday.  They're spending the weekend in Portland with Tori's brother Adam and family.  I love this photo of Charlie.  He can certainly be sour, but mostly he's such a sweet child and I miss him very much!

Big Ol' Catch-up Post

It's so hard to start blogging when you haven't posted for a long time because there seems to be an insurmountable amount of ground to cover.  Though it doesn't do these subjects any justice, in the interest of moving forward and blogging about future topics, I'm going to do bullet points to summarize what has happened since my last blog post:

• Moved to the exurbs.  While the family was in Costa Rica, I decided I didn't want to commute such a long distance and so I found a house in the boonies (near work).  It's quite a change for us to go from a cramped duplex (that I wrote about so fondly here) to what I call our McMansion: four bedrooms and three baths with a yard.  I need to do a whole separate post about that topic!
• Bought an electric car.  Now that we live in non-walkable suburbia, of course we need a second car!  To compensate for our less environmentally friendly life (though living in the burbs does mean a shorter commute for me), we were excited to buy the 100% electric Nissan LEAF.  We've had it for about two months and love it!
• Tori and the kids returned from Costa Rica!  They got back on April 24th and it's really, really great to have them back.  When I first saw them at LAX I cried and Zadie asked me, "Mom, why is your face so sweaty?"  Because Costa Rica was kind of challenging in terms of the lack of sleep and all the kids getting terribly bitten by mosquitoes (and then infected with empatigo), Tori was actually really excited to be in our big, comfortable house, which made me very happy.
• Tori is officially a stay-at-home mom.  Though she actually lost her job with the Peace Corps back in early March, she had her mom helping her in Costa Rica so that didn't really count as being a stay-at-home mom.  Now she's living in the burbs and home all day with three kiddos, so this really hard-core.  Mostly I think it's going well, although it's definitely more challenging than any office job she's ever done.
• The family is hitting the road again.  In about a week, Tori is driving to Washington state with the three kids.  By herself.  I don't know why she thinks this is a good idea (and why she hasn't learned that I'm always right about this stuff, e.g. Costa Rica), but she thinks she's going to have a super fun road trip from L.A. to Washington state.  I'll have to report back on that later!  Anyway, she'll be gone for a month, but I don't really mind them leaving this time because I'm going to spend 10 days in Washington with them in the middle of the month.
• My parents are selling the resort.  I know I've written on this blog many times about how much we love to  come to my parents' house because of the great weather, the pool, and my wonderful parents.  It's been a peaceful and truly blissful escape for us from the chaos (and, up until recently, cramped chaos) of our regular lives.  Sadly for us, the resort is up for sale, so we're having our last hurrah here this holiday weekend and taking it all in.  Their next home has already been purchased and is also going to be great, but of course I can't imagine my parents not living here and this house not being a part of my life and my children's lives.  But, as my mom says, we'll have lots more memories to make in their next home!